Savin' Me
by Death's Silent Approach
Summary: The Summer after fifth year and Harry's musings.  One Shot. I don't own


I do not own either the song Savin' Me by Nickelback or Harry Potter

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Prison gates won't open up for me

On these knees I'm crawling

Harry glanced out of the small window of his small bedroom in Number Four Privet drive. His grief he knew was slowly driving him out of his mind and he could see no way out. Why didn't anyone realize that he was slowly going crazy? He knew that they watched his every move so why didn't anyone realize it? Was it because he was their "savior"? Ha! Yeah right, he was a child with to much responsibility.

Oh, I reach for you

Well I'm terrified of these four walls

These iron bars can't hold my soul in

All I need is you

Come please I'm callin'

And oh I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin'

The memories of his godfather falling threw the veil in the department of mysteries filled his every dream, even those that occurred while he was awake, causing him to scream out into the night, "Sirius! NOOOOOOOOO!" Harry would then wake up to the reality that Sirius was no longer alive and he couldn't and hadn't prevented his death. When it was time to write letters to the order he would sometime on reflex write to Sirius. Sometimes he could catch himself before he began to write the letter, other times he didn't realize he had written it until his owl was looking at him sadly as he went to attach the letters to the order and to Sirius to her leg.

Show me what it's like

To be the last one standing

Most days the letters would often go unread because Harry could not bring himself to. The letters from the order only made him remember the fall threw the veil because of their involvement with the whole fiasco at the Ministry of Magic. The letters from Remus made him remember the good times though even his letters caused him pain because it was thanks to him being friends with Sirius that he knew him.

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it for me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Letters from his friends kept coming most of them trying to keep his spirits up others tried to degrade him because of what happened to them that night in the Department of Mysteries. Sometimes they could bring a smile to his face, others caused him to frown in anger and he would start to throw things. One such time was when he threw something at his uncle when he started to degrade him for being a wizard. His uncle retaliated by locking him in his room for the next two days without food causing Harry's dreams to seem more and more real the more time passed.

Heaven's gates won't open up for me

With these broken wings I'm fallin'

And all I see is you

Some days Harry wouldn't think of Sirius and he would feel somewhat at peace, and he would remember the good times with Sirius. Other days everything would come crashing down upon him and he remembers and or relives Sirius falling through the veil of death.

These city walls aint got no love for me

I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story

And oh I scream for you

Come please I'm callin'

And all I need from you

Hurry I'm fallin'

The Dursley's gave Harry no sympathy for his loss. They don't care that he's grieving, they still force him to do their work for them, but Harry has found that the work keeps his mind occupied and away from thoughts of Sirius and how he sometimes wished that he could join him in death even knowing the prophesy of his having to kill Voldemort or be killed himself. The days where everything came crashing down upon him were the days that Harry didn't care if he didn't finish his chores and his uncle would punish him with death. On these days he would actually hope for the punishment so that he could watch Sirius even if it was him falling threw the veil.

Show me what it's like to

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

One day in the middle of the night Harry had stepped into the kitchen ignoring his uncle and cousin's snores and pulled open the fridge and light suddenly flooded the room. A glint of mettle caught his attention out of the corner of his eye turning towards it he saw a knife. Entranced he moved slowly be steadily towards it and slowly grasped it within his hand. Closing the door to the fridge Harry walked up the stairs to his room once more letting the door shut behind him with a echoing click that seemed to laugh maliciously at the wizards protecting the house.

Say it for me

Say it for me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Hurry I'm fallin'

And all I need is you

Come please I'm callin'

And oh I scream for you

Hurry I'm fallin'

Several hours later three order members burst into the tiny room holding their worlds savior. All three came to an immediate halt at the sight in the room that greeted them. Upon the bed lay their savior seemingly resting if not for the bloody cuts running from his elbow to the palm of each hand. "How could he have fallen so far as to do this?" Whispered the only female of the group.

"Who knows but Harry Tonks." Whispered the red head of the group.

"Oh be quiet and grab him and portkey to the headquarters already." A gruff voice commanded in a growl.

The woman now known as Tonks gathered Harry to her and whispered in his ear, "Oh Harry you should have told us you were hurting so badly. You should never have had to resort to this."

Show me what it's like to

To be the last one standing

And teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me

Say it for me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

Hurry I'm fallin'

Say it for me

Say it for me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

With those words the order members disappeared along with Harry from the tiny room once known to hold the savior of the wizarding world who fell to his own blade.

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Okay this is a rather angsty piece where Harry kills himself. Ehhh well I hope it was to your liking as I find looking back on this it is rather angsty. Man I must have some real deep issues with some of the things I tend to turn out when I want to.


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